{"id":4163,"date":"2022-10-14T16:52:20","date_gmt":"2022-10-14T08:52:20","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/spk.ppe.rhenish.org\/?p=4163"},"modified":"2022-10-14T17:12:46","modified_gmt":"2022-10-14T09:12:46","slug":"no-not-allowed-no-does-it-really-work","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/spk.ppe.rhenish.org\/en\/no-not-allowed-no-does-it-really-work\/","title":{"rendered":"<strong>&#8220;No!&#8221; &#8220;Not allowed!&#8221; &#8220;No!&#8221; Does it really work?<\/strong>"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t<div data-elementor-type=\"wp-post\" data-elementor-id=\"4163\" class=\"elementor elementor-4163\" data-elementor-post-type=\"post\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-c8b687e elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"c8b687e\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-35972d6\" data-id=\"35972d6\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-d32508e elementor-widget elementor-widget-image\" data-id=\"d32508e\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"image.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"580\" height=\"431\" src=\"https:\/\/spk.ppe.rhenish.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/10\/shutterstock_469454867-768x571.jpg\" class=\"attachment-medium_large size-medium_large wp-image-4153\" alt=\"\" srcset=\"https:\/\/spk.ppe.rhenish.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/10\/shutterstock_469454867-768x571.jpg 768w, https:\/\/spk.ppe.rhenish.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/10\/shutterstock_469454867-300x223.jpg 300w, https:\/\/spk.ppe.rhenish.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/10\/shutterstock_469454867.jpg 1000w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 580px) 100vw, 580px\" \/>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-011c3a8 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"011c3a8\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><span style=\"color: #0000ff;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Written by : Child Behavioral Emotional Therapist<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><br \/><\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u3000\u3000\u3000\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 Ip Wai Lun<\/span><\/span><\/p><p>\u00a0<\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Many times, parents get angry because their children don&#8217;t follow the rules or challenge some bottom line. For example, if a parent doesn&#8217;t want a child to touch something, the parent will just say, &#8220;Hey! Don&#8217;t touch it!&#8221; and &#8220;No!&#8221; and &#8220;Stop&#8221;, the child will hear many of these &#8220;No! and &#8220;No! In fact, this will often make children feel that they have done something wrong, which in turn will undermine their confidence and make them avoid doing things in the future.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">As a parent, what can you do to make your child follow the rules without undermining his self-confidence? What kind of talking skills can parents use?<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">For example, if a child is angry and his face is red, we can use the following &#8220;three-step&#8221; approach.<\/span><\/span><\/p><p>\u00a0<\/p><p><span style=\"color: #ff00ff;\"><b>Part I: Say How He Feels<\/b><\/span><\/p><ul><li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">&#8220;Mommy and Daddy see how angry you are &#8230;&#8230;&#8221;<\/span><\/li><li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">&#8220;Look at your red face. &#8230;&#8230;&#8221;<\/span><\/li><li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Parents can try to help their children say how they feel. This is the first and most important step.<\/span><\/li><\/ul><p><span style=\"color: #ff00ff;\"><b>Part 2: Setting boundaries<\/b><\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When a child has a temper tantrum and may hit someone, parents should immediately set a line: &#8220;Okay, we can\u2019t hurt others. Help him to set a compliance line.<\/span><\/p><p>\u00a0<\/p><p><span style=\"color: #ff00ff;\"><b>Part 3: Arranging a platform for diversion<\/b><\/span><\/p><ul><li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If the child has already hit someone, the parent should arrange a platform for the child to channel the anger.<\/span><\/li><li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">For example, the parent can say, &#8220;Oh! I see you are so angry that your face is red and you want to hit someone! Why don&#8217;t you show Daddy how angry you are? &#8220;Why don&#8217;t you hit this shark doll?&#8221;<\/span><\/li><li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Maybe the child will say, &#8220;Yes, okay! and then hit the shark doll. At this point, the parent should tell the child, &#8220;Oh, Daddy is really angry to see you.<\/span><\/li><\/ul>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-2953a5f elementor-widget elementor-widget-image\" data-id=\"2953a5f\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"image.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<img decoding=\"async\" width=\"580\" height=\"387\" src=\"https:\/\/spk.ppe.rhenish.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/10\/shutterstock_1377796358-1-768x513.jpg\" class=\"attachment-medium_large size-medium_large wp-image-4155\" alt=\"\" srcset=\"https:\/\/spk.ppe.rhenish.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/10\/shutterstock_1377796358-1-768x513.jpg 768w, https:\/\/spk.ppe.rhenish.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/10\/shutterstock_1377796358-1-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/spk.ppe.rhenish.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/10\/shutterstock_1377796358-1.jpg 1000w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 580px) 100vw, 580px\" \/>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-f57a87b elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"f57a87b\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">By allowing the child to express his or her emotions, the child will understand that when he or she has negative emotions, they won\u2019t be accepted by the parents.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If parents use the above three steps, not only will they accept their children&#8217;s negative emotions, but they will also not condone their misbehavior, and most importantly, children will learn to follow the rules.<\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-2126b51 elementor-widget elementor-widget-image\" data-id=\"2126b51\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"image.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<a href=\"https:\/\/www.parentsdaily.com.hk\/\" target=\"_blank\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/spk.ppe.rhenish.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/elementor\/thumbs\/Powered-by-PD-psep46l7ol3rmky0s98abuijh1ye39mn70a0n14inc.png\" title=\"Powered-by-PD\" alt=\"Powered-by-PD\" loading=\"lazy\" \/>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-5bdffdd elementor-widget elementor-widget-spacer\" data-id=\"5bdffdd\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"spacer.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-spacer\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-spacer-inner\"><\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-8e0c73e elementor-align-center elementor-widget elementor-widget-button\" data-id=\"8e0c73e\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"button.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-button-wrapper\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<a class=\"elementor-button elementor-button-link elementor-size-sm\" href=\"\/\u5bb6\u9577\u5712\u5730\/\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-button-content-wrapper\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-button-text\">\u8fd4\u56de<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Many times, parents get angry because their children don&#8217;t follow the rules or challenge some bottom line. For example, if a parent doesn&#8217;t want a child to touch something, the parent will just say, &#8220;Hey! Don&#8217;t touch it!&#8221; and &#8220;No!&#8221; and &#8220;Stop&#8221;, the child will hear many of these &#8220;No! and &#8220;No! In fact, this will often make children feel that they have done something wrong, which in turn will undermine their confidence and make them avoid doing things in the future.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":4154,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"elementor_header_footer","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[40],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4163","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-parents-zone"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.3 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>&quot;No!&quot; &quot;Not allowed!&quot; &quot;No!&quot; Does it really work? - \u79ae\u8ce2\u6703\u65b0\u84b2\u5d17\u5e7c\u5152\u5712 San Po Kong Rhenish Nursery<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/spk.ppe.rhenish.org\/en\/no-not-allowed-no-does-it-really-work\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"&quot;No!&quot; &quot;Not allowed!&quot; &quot;No!&quot; Does it really work? - \u79ae\u8ce2\u6703\u65b0\u84b2\u5d17\u5e7c\u5152\u5712 San Po Kong Rhenish Nursery\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Many times, parents get angry because their children don&#039;t follow the rules or challenge some bottom line. For example, if a parent doesn&#039;t want a child to touch something, the parent will just say, &quot;Hey! Don&#039;t touch it!&quot; and &quot;No!&quot; and &quot;Stop&quot;, the child will hear many of these &quot;No! and &quot;No! 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